Tuesday, 29 May 2007

Rollercoaster from Hell

We all experience a rollercoaster of emotions during our lifetime. For some it’s the kind they can semi-comfortably sit through without blinking an eye. And others have to hold on for dear life.

Dana wrote in her blog Sublimation the following:

(Do you feel like you are on a rollercoaster ride with me yet? If so, you now know exactly how I have been feeling since I saw my doctor Saturday. This is not a good rollercoaster to be on. I think everyone should get off at the next stop. I know I want off. I want to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow to realize this was all just been a really long, emotional and oddly detailed dream.)

Life is full of ups and downs and it's entirely up to us to choose the best way to handle these situations. We want to stop the earth from spinning so we can get off, but ultimately we have to face our problems and fears with a brave face. Some rollercoasters are worse than others and most of the humans inhabiting our planet seem to cope pretty OK. The lucky ones have wonderful and healthy ways of dealing with situations while others choose the path (or various paths) of "least resistance" (They may seems easy at first, but so hard to break free from.) By that I mean the different forms of addiction many people suffer from. Might it be alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling or food. For myself, I use reading, reading and more reading as a coping mechanism. Some days I might add some writing (and bad at that) in there too, like today. But what about those unfortunate people who chooses the path of addiction or suicide? Does it make them weaker than the rest of us?

I’m not sure about the answer, but I’m inclined to think that such a person just has a different frame of reference than the rest of us. I always wonder how terrible someone’s life must be for them to believe that their only way out is suicide. How low and for how long must that rollercoaster dip for it to be so dark and lonely? And aren’t roller coasters supposed to be built mostly high up in the sky?

I'm not sure I will ever know the answer. All I can tell you is that my cousin decided to take his own life today. The last I heard was that he was unsuccessful and still alive. Should we be happy that he was unsuccessful? It’s another answer that eludes me, and it’s not that I don’t think his life is valuable. Right now, I just feel terribly sorry for him (which he’ll probably hate), I feel compassion for him and I want to know what happened that made him believe his only option was to shoot himself. What kind of life will he have knowing that he tried, he failed and now he has to face his community with a brave face he didn’t have to start off with? With all my heart I hope and pray that something good and miraculous comes from this and that he makes a turnaround that will make our heads spin.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you will never see the shadow.” – Helen Keller

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

In Good Time

I'm very much a person who struggles with "delayed gratification." If I get an idea in my head, I want it done and yesterday would've been a perfect day for it. Books, poetry (which I'm only getting into now) reading and writing is my way of slowing down, taking a step back and escape from whatever is chasing me.

Here are a few quotes I find meaningful:

"Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you." - St Augustine

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for." - Epicarus

"Some of the shells that wash up on the beach were once beautiful. We don't know what kind of journey thay had to take to get them in their fragile condition. The same is true for people. Be kind." Linda Gifford

"There is nothing in caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly." Richard Buckminster Fuller